I've always associated risk and reward as inseparable as yin and yang, as Cheech and Chong, or as The Fonz and latent homosexuality.
The rewards I envisaged as long as I can remember were always grandiose and fantastical, the castle in the sky, infinite wealth, eternal happiness, yada, yada, yada.
Rewards can be small, but significant.
Waking up in the morning without a shroud of dread and despair is a reward.
Looking at my wife and kids without the angst of deceit is a reward.
Re establishing relationships with my family is a reward.
Starting a financial plan is a reward, the duration is long, but the load is bearable.
Looking in the mirror and noticing I need to shave, rather than needing to self immolate is a reward.
Not dreading the postman is a reward.
Being able to think without the entropic distractions of mental chaos is a reward.
Taking a day off to spend with my brother, father or youngest is a reward.
Closing a post to this blog with a smile of contentment, rather than a tear of desperation is a reward,
My name is Paddy, I'm a compulsive gambler, I have not had a bet today or since my last post.