Just so you know

When I read back on these posts I can see how ridiculous they can be, I am aware of it but I'm trying to demonstrate the thought process of an addict as he tries to rationalise, blame others and abdicate responsibility. I want to put it in writing so, when I read back I will spot the warning signs as I start to try to find excuses to gamble again, as demonstrated in previous posts.

Monday, 5 August 2013

One day at a time

Pertinent comment on the previous post. One day at a time, very true. Part of my problem with this is my job requires me to plan in detail for multiple scenarios. That's the way I think and always have done, I'm a planner, but this program requires me to take one day at a time, bit of a conflict there.

I need to start compartmentalising my addiction and try to keep a different mindset than what is required in my professional life. If I cannot do that, then I need to consider my choice of profession. Sounds ridiculous, but when ones mind is programmed to think and analyse on a continuous basis it is exceedingly difficult to try to stop analysing at will. There you go, the Mr Kipling of self analysis, that's me. Exceedingly fucked up.

My name is Paddy, I'm a compulsive gambler, I have not had a bet today or since my last post.