Just so you know

When I read back on these posts I can see how ridiculous they can be, I am aware of it but I'm trying to demonstrate the thought process of an addict as he tries to rationalise, blame others and abdicate responsibility. I want to put it in writing so, when I read back I will spot the warning signs as I start to try to find excuses to gamble again, as demonstrated in previous posts.

Thursday 28 November 2013

Higher Power ?

Step 11 of the "recovery" program is

"Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. "

This is a bit of a dilemma for me as I'm not religious, I only associate prayer with desperation or seeking forgiveness, and those are two mindsets I'm avoiding. As soon as I hear reference to God I tend to tune out, but, at a recent meeting I was interested to hear the other members describe their higher power as something other than a deity, it is whatever the person wants it to be.

I do a lot of walking now with our new puppy, and I speak to him as we walk, yip, I told you I was nuts, but I have decided he is going to be my power, but, by virtue of his size, a lower power.

On another note, I noticed last night that I now have the same hands as my father, if only the rest of me was similar, life would be a more noble journey.

Anyway, no bet since the last post, aren't I the great fellow ?

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